Bella's Diary
by Love Will Be Forever
Summary: It's all in the title! Wanna know what Bella thought about Edward? Jacob? Etc... then this is the story or diary? for you.
1. My First Entry

_And when I shall die, take him and cut him up in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will fall in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun._

_-Juliet_

Romeo and Juliet.

I had written this quote down in an old diary I brought with me to Forks. I scribbled hearts around it while thinking of his pale porcelain face. I knew nothing of him then. Nothing of his immortality, strength, speed or how dangerous he was. All I knew then was that he was the most beautiful being I've even seen. Actually, "beautiful" isn't a strong enough word as it is described in the dictionary as:

**Beau·ti·ful**

**1. Having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight.**

**2. Excellent; wonderful.**

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Edward is more than this. To this day, I've never been able to think of a great enough word to describe him. He's pulled at my now lifeless heart strings since the first time I laid eyes on him. Now, I see some of those indescribable qualities in myself, too. And, in mine and Edward's daughter, Renesmee "Nessie" Carlie Cullen.

To say my life has changed "drastically" since moving to Forks, Washington is the understatement of a lifetime. My life, in all its immortal glory isn't the only thing that has changed. My appearance has also become distinct. When I used to look in the mirror I'd see a soft, plain, pale looking, brown eyed girl looking back at me. Now, I see porcelain skinned, red eyed, strong, beautiful… vampire. I'm still not used to saying that. I doubt I ever will be, and for me eternity is a long time to not be used to something. One thing I am happy I won't have to get "used" to, is my crimson eyes. They are slowly changing, falling into a golden brown color with tinges of red. I've stopped wearing my contacts around Charlie, and Sue - Charlie's partner. Alice sees great things happening between them. It makes me happy to know Charlie isn't lonely.

They still don't ask questions, and I still don't offer any information. After watching Jacob transform into a wolf, Charlie has become aware of the fact that there's something very strange happening. However, he also knows no one would ever hurt him.

Sometimes I go back to his house in the middle of the night to check on him. I crawl through my old window and go into his room to usually find him dreaming of something either fishing or work related. I miss him. I miss a lot of things. I'll never have to miss Edward though.

Jacob comes to visit Renesmee often. A little_too_ often, but I am understanding more and more. She's growing so very fast, and he wants to be there to see everything. She often shows Edward and I that she loves Jacob. She looks at him like a best friend or brother. I'll always be grateful for Jacob and his bravery when the Volturi came. I was thankful to have him there, to run with Renesmee in case the Volturi decided to fight. I've always been grateful for Jacob, for always being there. _Always_.

I am going to sign off now. Edward and I are going to go sing Renesmee to sleep. Well, Edward is going to. I can't sing. But, I watch. I love watching my two angels. The two loves of my life. Forever.

**-Bella**

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AN: Review please! **


	2. Human Emotions

Dear Diary,

**2/2/09**

From time to time, human emotions encapsulate me. If it weren't for Zafrina, my friend from the Amazonian Coven, I don't know if I'd be able to show Edward those emotions. She helped me realize my capabilities, and taught me to use them to my full potential. He loves it though, when I do let him in. Somehow however, I think he's quite happy not knowing _everything._ It's foreign to him, exciting. I guess it keeps him wondering, which isn't something Edward is used to. Mostly, I've used this capability to show Edward how deeply, truthfully and _overwhelmingly_ exultant I am to be a part of his world. A world I once never understood. A world that is mine now, forever.

I've brought Renesmee to see Zafrina as I promised. Zafrina adores our little Nessie, _almost_ as much as Jacob does. Zafrina gets a kick out of seeing Nessie's thoughts, especially when she sees how prominent Jacob is in all of them. Although she will never completely understand Jacob's imprinting on Nessie, she sees that when those two are together, they bring smiles to each others faces. Edward sees this as well, and he is very grateful for the protection Jacob offers his little nudger.

When Jacob isn't visiting Nessie, he is in La Push, back in his Dad Billy's house. Billy is happy to have him back there. Everything in Jacob's life has changed drastically, too. I mean, becoming a werewolf, fighting _off_ vampires in defense of other vampires, imprinting on a half vampire half human, and finally being able to be present in the same room as Edward without wanting to tear the paint off the walls, is a fair amount to deal with to say the least. He's happy now though. _Peaceful_. Most importantly, he still looks at me as Bella. The same girl he used to make mud pies with when we were little. I still see myself the same way, too. I mean, apart from the speed, incredible strength, inhuman beauty, and shield and of course immortality. You get the point, though.

I am going to sign off for now. I will write again tomorrow. Edward told me today that he has a "BIG SURPRISE" for me. He's full of surprises. I will write all about it tomorrow. Wish me luck - you know how weird I get when it comes to surprises.

**-Bella**

**AN: What do you think? Please tell me in a review! Oh, and I'll be updating twice today, just a little heads up. **


	3. My Surprise

Dear Diary,

**2/4/09**

Remember my 1953 Chevrolet pickup truck? The one Charlie bought for me from Billy Black when I moved to Forks? Well, if you've been following my story, you would know that Edward purchased me an "after car", for when I was turned. It's a beautiful car. It's fast, too. Different from my old pickup truck, to say the least. It's a Ferrari F430. Nice to look at, but Edward always knew I missed my old pickup truck. It's been parked on Charlie's lawn for the longest time. To my disappointment, it stopped running. I thought I'd never get to drive it again, that is until Edward surprised me with it today.  
It's not exactly the same as before, though. It's faster, stronger, has a polished exterior. Reminds me of myself now, oddly. Edward compared the old version of my truck to the human version of myself. It was strong, yet so fragile at the same time. It was rusty, kinda how I was on my feet. And, it was constantly on the verge of dying, only to be made into something faster, stronger and more beautiful, also like me.  
Edward redoing my truck is symbolic of the new me. Its paint is glossy and sparkles in the sunlight, it drives fast, it's strong, runs quietly and most of all, it's still the same truck, just like I'm still the same Bella. Besides Nessie, this has to be the best surprise I have ever received in my life. Edward knows how much I love my truck, and he wants me to preserve a lot of my human qualities. The qualities that along with my scent, made him fall in love with me.

Charlie and Jacob were in on it too. They helped Edward with ideas. Such as Charlie's idea to put tires on it strong enough to trek through quick sand, for my safety of course. Charlie still worries about me. He has no idea of my strength, speed or, well… that I am his vampire daughter.

I am so very happy to have this part of me back. It brings back very vague memories of my first day at Forks High School. Thinking I was going to be miserable and depressed during my entire time here. Wishing the rain would just dry up and the sun would shine like in Phoenix. And most importantly, wondering who the beautiful golden haired boy was who took my breath away. Now, I no longer have to wonder. He is my life, and I am his.

Rosalie, Emmett, Edward and I are going hunting tomorrow. Nessie is going to stay with Esme and Carlisle when we're gone. They love spending time with her.

Well, I think I've completed a successful diary entry for tonight. I'm going to go have some "bonding" time with Edward while Renesmee is asleep. I'll be sure to write again tomorrow.

**-Bella**

**An: Review please! **


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